What does opposition mean?

Oppositions are like a rope being pulled taut from both ends. Both sets of functions are present and both are important, but it is often difficult for people to live them out at the same time, so it is easy to exert effort and be absent at the same time. For example, we want freedom while wanting intimacy; we want efficiency while wanting feelings; we want control but are afraid of losing connection.

What hedging really brings is not single-point pressure, but axis pressure.

Why are opposites often so dramatic in relationships? Because people will unconsciously give their unfamiliar side to others. Therefore, if you are unsure about certain characteristics, you will be particularly attracted to, irritated, dependent on, or antagonized by that type of person. You think you are struggling with others, but in many cases you are actually struggling with the other half of your functions that you have not integrated well.

This is also where hedging has the most growth value: it always gives you back what you lost.

To deal with hedging maturely is not to stay in the middle forever, nor to decide which side is right, but to learn to adjust both sides according to the situation. When to be firm and when to listen to others; when to push forward and when to step back; when to be self-centered and when to be relationship-centered. The ability to hedge is often an advanced round-trip ability.

The most touching thing about hedging is that you know that both sides are important, but you are always triggered by one side of the relationship. It's not that fate is playing tricks on you, but that you are still learning how to get back half of the functions that were originally given to the outside world.

When the mechanisms of projection and pull themes are seen clearly, you will be more able to recognize the mirror in the relationship.